About that Tebow Commercial…
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About that Tebow Commercial…
February 8, 2010 – 9:30 am | 16 Comments

Well, after weeks of hype and controversy, we found out why CBS aired the Tim and Pam Tebow commercial sponsored by Focus on the Family, and not a gay dating site commercial. Both commercials …

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Home » College Football, PatPhish Exclusive, Uncategorized

Breaking News: Sources Confirm Tim Tebow Has Won The Heisman Trophy

Submitted by patphish on December 13, 2008 – 12:47 pm32 Comments


Sources out of Idaho and South Florida have both confirmed that Junior Florida Quarterback Tim Tebow has won the 1st annual Sparty Heisman Memorial Trophy. The voting was very close, with Tebow barely edging out grossly overrated sophomore Sam Bradford from Oklahoma. Here is how the votes broke down:

Name                1st 2nd 3rd Total

Tim Tebow               5       1        2           29

Sam Bradford         3       3        2          26

Colt McCoy              0       4      2.5        14.5

Graham Harrell     0       0         1            1

Knowshon Moreno 0    0        .5          .5

The 2 voters that had Tebow 3rd were seen sharing a crack pipe between Boston and the DC area.

Being granted unprecedented access (being that this is the first award it couldn’t have been precedented), our source conducted interviews with many of the voters (ie, they emailed some crap to the source). Some of the best insight came from a voter who has watch his own team be bitch-slapped by Tebow for 3 consecutive years:

“I think Tim Tebow is this player not only as a result of his proven skill and athleticism, but the additional leadership, emotion, and drive he fuels his team with for 60 solid minutes of football every Saturday”, eloquent words from a redneck, eloquent indeed.

The voter that is a member of Gator Nation had these thoughts: “A week ago, I honestly would have gone McCoy, but the 4th quarter comeback by Tebow in the SEC championship game was too much. There is no player more valuable in the country to their team than Tim Tebow”. A lawyer once told me that when someone says “I honestly” the next4 words are a lie. Maybe we could have a lawyer weigh in on that.

One of the Bradford voters dropped this gem: “Numbers don’t lie. But look for Tebow to have a”Vince Young” type title game if Bradford gets the trophy and Tebow is second”. Does anyone think that Tebow would have been extra motivated because Bradford won a trophy from a crappy website?

And another voter could not seem to grasp the concept of voting for a top 3, so he voted for a top 6, with some guy named Ringer finishing 4th, 5th and 6th. Wonder why nobody else voted for him? I think this guy was right on. (edited by Sparty)

The south Florida voter with no dog in this fight, had this to say: “Tim Tebow is ridiculous. Jorts and all, he is what football is all about. Did you see him telling his defense to get a stop and he would win the game in the SEC title game? For a moment I though he was going to take the field, line up at defensive end, force a fumble, recover it, say God Bless you to Coffee, then win the game. I have watched 30 years of college football, I love the game and consider myself an expert. The 3 greatest players that I have seen are Herschel Walker, Barry Sanders and Marshall Faulk. Tim Tebow will enter this list as soon as he leaves, and if he comes back for his senior year, he very well may top this list. And for those that don’t think he won’t succeed at the next level, I agree that he may not be an every down QB, but bring him in for 10-15 snaps a game like when he was a freshman behind Leak and he will succeed. Who thinks he can’t run the wildcat as well as Ronnie Brown? He strikes me the kind of guy that no matter what he chooses to do in life he will be successful. We all know or knew guys like that, which to me is why some people can’t stand the guy.”

So congrats Mr. Tebow on a job well done. You have been granted voting rights for life by Sparty and Friends, and if you choose to vote next year we will let you just pick the winner. Heres the guarantee that he has backed up as well as any guarantee ever:

[polldaddy poll=1193956]

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BallHype: hype it up!

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